“This is the Radio 1 Newsdesk. In Dorset, a helicopter is trying to rescue a man who has fallen down a cliff. He's lying on a small beach. An air-sea rescue hwelicopter has arrived at the scence, and one of the crew has climbed down a ladder to the beach. He's speaking to a doctor by radio.”
Crewman Hello. Can you hear me, doctor?
Doctor Yes, I can hear you clearly. Is he unconscious?
Crewman No, he's conscious. But he looks pretty bad.
Doctor O.K. Ask him if he can move.
Crewman Can you move?
Man No...
Doctor Ask him if he's in pain.
Crewman Are you in pain?
Man Oh... yes...
Doctor Ask him where it hurts.
Crewman Where does it hurt?
Man It's my back.
Doctor Right. Don't move him. I'm coming down.
Frank Aitken is the editor of The Daily News. He's sending a trainee journalist to interview the American singer, Bob Sonata.
“Now, I've arranged the interview for four o'clock... at his hotel. Ask him lots of questions. You know... ask him if he likes England. Ask him what his next record well be, when he recorded it... and ask him where. Ask him all the usual questions... but don't... don't ask him how old he is. O.K.?”
UFO
Ronald and Jean were driving along a quiet country road in Southern England. They were on the way to Westbury. It was nearly midnight.
Jean Ron... look over there. There's something in the sky. What is it?
Ron I don't know what it is. It's probably a plane.
Jean I don't think so. It's too big... and too bright.
Ron Oh, no.
Jean What's the matter?
Ron The engine's stopped.
Jean Why has it stopped?
Ron I don't know why it's stopped. We'll have to find a garage.
Jean Is there one near here?
Ron Yes, there's one in the next village... but I don't know if it's open. It's very late.
Suddenly there was a loud noise, and a big, bright silver object flew low over their car. It stopped in mid-air, turned round and flew back over their car. Then it went straight up into the sky and disappeared.
Jean Oh, Ron! What was that?
Ron Eh? Don't ask me... I've got no idea what it was!
Jean Oh, I'm frightened... let's go.
Ron We can't... the engine isn't working.
Jean Oh... try it again!
Ron That's strange. It's O.K. now. I wonder why it wasn't working?
Jean Oh, Ron... do you think it was a UFO?
Ron I don't know... I really don't. We should phone the police.
Jean Ron... do you think they'll believe us?
A MUGGING
ne night, Mrs Riley, an elderly widow, was walking along a dark, London street. She was carrying her handbag in one hand and a plastic carrier bag in the other. There was nobody else in the street except two youths. They were standing in a dark shop doorway. One of them was very tall with fair hair, the other was short and fat with a beard and moustache.
The youths waited for a few moments, and then ran quickly and quietly towards Mrs Riley. The tall youth held her from behind while the other youth tried to snatch her handbag.
Suddenly, Mrs Riley threw the tall youth over her shoulder. He crashed into the other youth and they both landed on the ground. Without speaking, Mrs Riley struck both of them on the head with her handbag, and walked calmly away.
he two surprised youths were still sitting on the ground when Mrs Riley crossed the street towards a door with a lighted sign above it. Mrs Riley paused, turn round, smiled at the youths and walked into the South West London Judo Club.
N IMPORTANT VISITOR
The platform of the Portsbridge station is full of people. They're waiting for an important visitor — the Queen. They're expecting her to arrive soon. She's going to open a new secondary shool — Portsbridge Comprehensive. The Mayor's secretary is telling him about the plans for the day.
She'll be here soon. We'll wait until we see the train.
1. When the train stops, the band will start playing.
2. Your son will give her some flowers when she gets off the train.
3. You'll make a speech before she leaves the station.
4. As soon as she arrives at the school, the children will begin cheering.
5. After she opens the school, we'll go to the Town Hall.
6. When she gets to the Town Hall, you'll make another speech.
7. After you make the speech, we'll have lunch.
8. Before she leaves Portsbridge, you'll give her a present from the town.
GENERAL HOSPITAL
aternity Ward
Mr Wallace is in the maternity ward. His wife's going to have a baby.
Nurse Hello... you're Mr Wallace, aren't you? Have you been waiting long?
Mr Wallace No really. Is there any news?
Nurse Not yet. We'll tell you as soon as there is. Have you thought of any names for the baby?
Mr Wallace Oh, yes! If it's a girl, we'll call her Victoria, and if it's a boy we'll call him Jason.
Operating Theatre
David Foster has had a serious accident. His wife's outside the operating theatre now.
Doctor Mrs Foster? I'm Dr. Payne.
Mrs Foster Oh, Doctor! How is he?
Doctor Well, I'm afraid we'll have to operate.
Mrs Foster Oh, no! He's always been afraid of operations.
Doctor Don't worry. If we operate now, he'll be all right.
Mrs Foster Oh, Doctor. Do you really have to?
Doctor I'm afraid so. He's lost a lot of blood. If we don't operate, he'll die!
Ward Ten
Mr Frampton has just arrived at the hospital. He's going to have a minor operation tomorrow.
Sister This is your bed, Mr Frampton.
Mr Frampton Oh, thank you, Sister.
Sister Now, could you get undressed and get into bed. There's a buzzer on the bedside table. If you press the button, someone will come at once.
Mr Frampton Oh, I'm sure I don't need anything...
Sister Well, don't forget... if you need anything, just press the button!
Casualty Department
Doctor Oh, dear! How did this happen?
Mother He was just playing with the saucepan, and he put on his head... and now it's stuck!
Doctor Have you tried to get it off?
Mother No, I'm afraid of hurting him.
Doctor Yes, if we pull too hard, we'll hurt him.
Mother What are you going to do?
Doctor Well, if I don't get it off, he won't be able to eat!
Mother Oh, no!
Doctor I'm only joking. If I put some soap on hid head, it'll come off easily.
AT THE RACES
orse-racing is a very popular sport in Britain. There're over 11,000 horses in training, and there is a race meeting almost every day of the year. Some of prizes are worth thousands of pounds and some of the horses are worth millions. Horses from all over the world enter for the big races. People bet on the horses, and if they are lucky, they can win a lot of money. Some people spend a lot of time studying the form of horses, others just guess! Look at the list of horses for the Hampshire Gold Cup. Study it, and try to choose the winner.
“It's a lovely day here at Hurstwood Park. The horses are ready for today's big race — the Hampshire Gold Cup. And they're off! They've all started well. They're racing towards the first bend, and Dobbin's in the lead! Concorde's second and Chestnut Mare's third. Now they're approaching the first fence. And Dobbin's fallen... but the jockey looks all right... and now Concorde's in front. White Rum, the favourite, is at the back. Now they're entering the second bend... and they're all over the second fence... Cash Register has just passed Concorde, and Sylvester Stallion has moved into third place... then Irish Prince, then Tricky Dicky... now they're coming round the third bend... and it's very close race... and they've all jumped the third fence... and the favourite, White Rum, is coming through... the crowd is cheering wildly... they're over the last fence... there're only 300 meters to go... and all the horses are in a line... I can't see which one's in front... it's very, very close... it's a photo finish! What a race! But we'll have to wait for the result
ON THE ROAD
Ann Ben! You can't park here! There's a double yellow line.
Ben Oh, we'll be back in a few minutes. It's O.K.
Ann Oh, no, it isn't. You'll get a parking ticket if you leave it here.
Ben No, I won't. It's half past five. All the traffic wardens have gone home.
Ann Ben!
Ben Yes?
Warden Is this your car, sir?
PC. Excuse me. May I see your licence?
Ben I'm afraid I've left it at home.
PC. In that case you'll have to take it to the police station within five days.
Ben But... but why?
PC. You were speeding, sir.
Ben But I was only doing 35!
PC. There's a 30 miles an hour speed limit on this road, sir.
Ben Is there? I didn't see the sign...
PC. Well, sir. We've been following you.
Ben So you were doing 35, too.
PC. No, sir. We were doing 60 miles an hour... and we couldn't catch you!
Man Hello... Wadley's Garage.
Ben Oh, good evening. I don't know if you can help me. My car's broken down.
Man We have 24-hour breakdown service. Where are you?
Ben I'm on the A357... just north of Ringbourne. My car's just past the Red Lion pub... it's a white M.G.
Man Do you know what's wrong with it?
Ben I've got no idea... but it won't start.
Man I'll send a mechanic out to you. He'll be there in about ten minutes.
Mechanic It's nothing serious, sir. You've run out of petrol.
Ben Oh! Can you tow me to the garage?
Mechanic That's not necessary. I've got a spare can of petrol in my truck.
Ben Shall I pay you now, or shall I come to the garage?
Mechanic You can pay me now.
Ben Will you take a cheque? I've run out of cash, too.
Mechanic Yes, that's O.K.
Ben Hold on... I can't find my cheque book!
EMERGENCY...999
Operator Emergency. Which service, please?
Caller Police.
Police Police, here.
Caller I've just seen two cars crash into a security van. I think it's a robbery.
Police Where?
Caller Just outside the factory gates.
Police Which factory, sir?
Caller Croxley Engineering... in Brook Lane..
The first police car got to the factory three minutes later, but it was too late! The robbers had gone. They had knocked out one of the security guards and shot the other. They were both lying on the ground near the van. The thieves had taken all wages for the factory. The police called an ambulance, and questioned three people who had seen the robbery.
Operator Emergency. Which service, please?
Caller Fire.
Fire Fire Service.
Caller Come quickly! Fenley's Garage is on fire... the one in Churchill Road.
Fire We'll be there in two minutes....
he first police car got to the factory three minutes later, but it was too late! The robbers had gone. They had knocked out one of the security guards and shot the other. They were both lying on the ground near the van. The thieves had taken all wages for the factory. The police called an ambulance, and questioned three people who had seen the robbery.
Operator Emergency. Which service, please?
Caller Fire.
Fire Fire Service.
Caller Come quickly! Fenley's Garage is on fire... the one in Churchill Road.
Fire We'll be there in two minutes....
The fire engine got to the garage just in time. The showroom was burning. Fortunately the fire hadn't reached the petrol pumps, and hadn't spread to neighbouring houses. The fireman were able to put it out quickly. The fire had started in the office. Someone had thrown a lighted cigarette into a waste-paper basket.
Operator Emergency. Which service, please?
Caller Ambulance...
Ambulance Ambulance service.
Caller Hurry... there's a boy... he's in the canal, and I don't think he can swim!
Ambulance Where are you, madam?
Caller Oh, sorry... near the bridge... the one in Balaclava Street.
Ambulance We're on our way!
When the ambulance arrived the boy was lying on the quay. A policeman had seen the boy in the water and had dived in and rescued him. The boy was all right. The policeman had give him artificial respiration. The ambulance took the boy and the policeman to the hospital.
READER'S LETTERS
Reader's Letters
Have you ever had an embarrassing experience?
Last week we asked readers to tell us about embarrassing experiences. We received hundreds of letters! Here is a selection.
A smart teacher!
... My most embarrassing experience happened when I had just left university. I had just started teaching in a Liverpool secondary school. One morning my alarm clock didn't ring... I had forgotten to wind it up. I woke up at half past eight and school began at nine. I quickly washed, shaved, dressed, jumped into my car and drove to school. When I arrived the students had already gone into class. I didn't go to the staff room, but went straight into class. After two or three minutes the students began laughing, and I couldn't understand why! Suddenly I look down and understood. I had put on one black shoe and one brown shoe!
Stanley Hooper, B.A., Preston, Lancs.
Hand in hand
The most embarrassing experience I've ever had, happened two years ago. My wife and I had driven into town to do some shopping. The streets were very busy and we were holding hands. Suddenly my wife saw a dress that she liked in a shop window, and stopped. I started looking at some radios in the next window. After a minute or two I reached for my wife's hand. There was a loud scream, and a woman slapped my face. I hadn't taken my wife's hand, I'd take the hand of a complete stranger!
Len Bailey, Sheffield, Yorks.
A parking problem
My husband and I had decided to buy a new house, I'd made an appointment to see our bank manager. I'd never met him before and I was a bit nervous. I drove into town and I was lucky enough to find a parking space outside the bank. I'd just started reversing into the space when another car drove into it. I was furious! I opened my window and shouted at other driver. He ignored me and walked away. It took me twenty minutes to find another space. As soon as I had parked the car, I rushed back to the bank. I was ten minutes late for my interview. I went to the manager's office, knocked and walked in. The manager was sitting behind his desk. He was the man who had taken my parking space!
Kate Kirby, Portsmouth, Hants.
Why don't you write and tell us about your most embarrassing experience?
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