A GHOST STORY

A GHOST STORY

Edgar and Catherine are staying in a cottage in the New Forest. It belongs to Edgar's uncle, and they've borrowed it for the weekend. It's Friday night. They arrived an hour or two ago, and they're sitting in front of a log fire.
Catherine Oh, Edgar, this house is fantastic! I love old houses.
Edgar There's a ghost here, you know.
Catherine Edgar! Don't be silly... you're trying to frighten me.
Edgar Not at all. I've been coming here for years. We used to stay here when I was child. I saw the ghost myself once.
Catherine Edgar... this isn't funny. It's late at night. Anyway, I don't believe in ghosts.
Edgar Don't you? I do.
Catherine Where did you see the ghost?
Edgar Upstairs... in the bedroom.
Catherine Ha, ha. Did it have a white sheet over its head?
Edgar No, no. It was quite an ordinary ghost, really. He was wearing Victorian clothes.
Catherine He? Who?
Edgar The ghost, of course. I'll tell you about it. I'd been walking in the forest all day and I was really tired, so I went to bed early.
Catherine Had you had anything to drink?
Edgar No, no...
Catherine Well, go on... what happened?
Edgar I'd been in bed for two or three hours...
Catherine How do you know that it was a few hours?
Edgar There's an old grandfather clock in the bedroom. You'll see it when we go upstairs. Anyway, the man was standing beside it.
Catherine What man?
Edgar The ghost, of course.
Catherine What did you do?
Edgar Nothing.
Catherine What did he say?
Edgar Nothing... he just stared at me.
Catherine How did he get into the room? Had you looked the door?
Edgar Yes, I had... and the window. It was a cold, foggy night.
Catherine Was there a fireplace?
Edgar Yes, but it was too small for a man to get down. Anyway, there'd been a fire.
Catherine What did you do?
Edgar I sat up, and stared back at him. I was too shocked to move.
Catherine What happened? What happened?
Edgar Well, I don't know how long we'd been staring at each other, when suddenly I panicked and shouted... and he disappeared!
Catherine I don't believe it!
Edgar I didn't believe it myself at the time but when I told some people in the village, they believe me. Some of them had seen the ghost themselves. They could even describe him! If you ask them, they'll tell you.
Catherine Edgar... put some more wood on the fire. I'm going to sleep downstairs tonight!

BUYING A PRESENT

Liz  Have you got Disco King, please?
Assistant Who's it by?
Liz Soul Sensation. It's their latest single. It's just entered the charts... it's number nine this week!
Assistant Hold on... I'll just look... here you are.
Liz Oh, thanks... and have you got the new L.P. by the Rats?
Assistant What? Teenage Revolution? Oh, yes... we've got that... it's a fantastic album... you'll love it.
Liz Oh, it's not for me. It's for my grandmother. It's a birthday present!

In a record shop

Liz  Have you got Disco King, please?
Assistant Who's it by?
Liz Soul Sensation. It's their latest single. It's just entered the charts... it's number nine this week!
Assistant Hold on... I'll just look... here you are.
Liz Oh, thanks... and have you got the new L.P. by the Rats?
Assistant What? Teenage Revolution? Oh, yes... we've got that... it's a fantastic album... you'll love it.
Liz Oh, it's not for me. It's for my grandmother. It's a birthday present!

In a jeweller's shop

Nigel I'm trying to find a Christmas present for my wife.
Assistant Yes, sir. What exactly are you looking for?
Nigel I'm not sure, really. Perhaps you can help me.
Assistant Right... I'll show you some bracelets.
Nigel No, I bought a bracelet for our wedding anniversary.
Assistant May be a ring, then. These rings are made of gold.
Nigel Yes... I like that one. What's the stone ?
Assistant It's a diamond, sir... and it's only £2000!
Nigel Ah... well, perhaps you could show me some ear-rings, then.

In a toy shop

Mrs Cox Good morning. Perhaps you can advise me...
Assistant Yes, madam.
Mrs Cox I'm looking for a toy... for my nephew.
Assistant Oh, yes... how old is he?
Mrs Cox He'll be nine years old on Saturday.
Assistant Skateboards are still very popular.
Mrs Cox Hmm, I don't want him to hurt himself.
Assistant What about a drum set?
Mrs Cox I don't think so. His father will be angry if I buy him one of those. Have you got anything educational? You see, he's a very intelligent boy.
Assistant I've got the perfect thing! A do-it yourself computer kit!

MADE IN ENGLAND

Ken I like your radio. Is it new?
Pat Yes, I bought it last week. It's a Bisonic.
Ken Bisonic? I've never heard of it. Where was it made?
Pat I'm not sure. I think it was made in Japan. I'll have a look. No, I'm wrong. It was made in England.

A REAL BARGAIN

Mr Palmer is looking for a new house. He's tired of living in the city and he wants to live in a quiet village. He's with the estate agent now.
Estate Agent Well, Mr Palmer. This is the semi-detached house that I told you about... Number 26, Richmond Road. The owners are away, but I've got a key.
Mr Palmer Hmm... when was it built?
Agent It was built in 1928.
Mr Palmer Who built it?
Agent I'm not really sure. Is it important?
Mr Palmer No, not really. Is that a new roof? It looks new.
Agent It is nearly new. It was put on last year.

Agent You can see that it's very good condition. The previous owner was a builder.
Mr Palmer It's quite an old house. I'm worried about the electrical wiring. Has it been rewired?
Agent Yes, it has.
Mr Palmer Oh, when was it done?
Agent Five year ago. Also, it's been redecorated. Central heating has been put in, and a new garage has been built.
Mr Palmer Oh, when was that done?
Agent Last year... I think.

Agent It's a very solid house. It's built of brick with a tiled roof...
Mr Palmer It's a long way from a big town. What are the services like?
Agent Hold on... I've got the details here. Yes... let me see... the dustbins are emptied every Thursday.
Mr Palmer It's important for me to see the post before I go to work. When is it delivered?
Agent It's usually delivered at about 7.30. The milk is delivered about six o'clock... so you'll have fresh milk for breakfast.

Mr Palmer It's certainly very cheap. I've seen a lot of similar houses... and they're more expensive
Agent Ah, yes... it's a really bargain.
Mr Palmer Are there any plans for the area?
Agent Pardon? Plans... well, a new school is going to be built in the village next year...
Mr Palmer Anything else?
Agent ... and a new road, a motorway actually, will be built next year, too. You'll be able to get to London easily.
Mr Palmer Where exactly will be the motorway be built?
Agent Well, actually, it'll be built behind the house. A bridge will be constructed over the house. It'll be very interesting. You'll able to watch the traffic...